Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How to deal with ex-boyfriend at mutal friends' parties...?

We broke up in January. I want nothing to do with the guy. I haven't so much as spoken to him since March, when I told him to stop calling me and e-mailing me. He didn't stop, but I haven't responded since. He obviously doesn't respect my wishes at all.





He got wind I was coming to two parties he is also invited to, and he wants to sit down with me and talk things over so we can be friends. But by friends, he means go on a double date with a mutual friend and her boyfriend. He wants more than friends. He seems to think I'll be receptive to him. (He was a jerk)





One of the parties is small, and hosted by a close friend of mine. Not his. I don't want to ruin her party with a bad confrontation that I have no intention of initiating. But, I'm not going to leave a fun party because he's needy and obsessive. So, I have to try to tell him to bugger off without making him run out of the room crying, revert to a whiny 4-year-old, or start screaming at me (he's also a drama queen). Advice?How to deal with ex-boyfriend at mutal friends' parties...?
You should just get into a phone conversation with him and tell him that there is NO WAY EVER NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS OR DO that will ever get you back together with him. Do this before the party. He needs to be shut down completely. If he need to meet with you do it. Say it to his face. Tell him you are trying to respect him by telling him bluntly. Tell him if he can't understand that, friendship will be impossible, throw the ball into his court. He might not show up at the party after that.How to deal with ex-boyfriend at mutal friends' parties...?
Don't go to the parties. That's the only way. You can't control his behavior, only your own actions. Sorry, but that's the way it is.
Bring a date and stay under him the whole time. Hopefully he can defend himself if that guy is really that much of a jerk.
take another guy to the party that you are interested in. that will at least open his eyes a little a start the transitional phase
If it's YOUR friends close party, ask her to uninvite him, or make sure he stays away from you. Don't need him developing into a stalker.
I agree with the people that said find a date!!! and make sure he doesnt leave your sight all night!! lol...
Yeah. Don't go to the party. Obviously, you two were deeply connected and because you are essentially a fruitloop, you destroyed the relationship for no good reason (not exactly the truth....I'm well aware of your reasons but what you obviously are not aware of is that they are sick). Being a normal person, he doesn't understand wtf is wrong, only that the bond is still there but you aren't. Eventually, he'll move on (then you'll be running after him again...sigh) but until then, the best thing you could do for him is to simply not be where he is. Since it's your fault, you should be the one to stay away. In fact, if you even have any normalcy about you at all, you will resist the crazy impulse to want him back when he has finally replaced you with a woman who is NOT a fruitloop.
come to the party with friends and stick with them or try skipping a few of the partys. i know that you shouldn't have to skip them, but it hink it will diffuse the situation if you lessen the opportunities for your ex to see you. after a while he'll probably stop going to the parties and/or move on to some other poor girl and you can enjoy the parties again.
he is still obcessed w/ you.... Tell him that you could talk about it some other chance to talk w/ not in the party of your friend...make him remember that everything is over w/ you now....
I would not attend the parties. You already have some idea of the outcome so it would be in your best interest, as well as that of your host, not to attend. Explain that you recently got out of a relationship with another invitee and would not feel comfortable attending under those circumstances. They should understand and avoid a similar conflict of invitations in the future. Avoid him at all costs. He sounds somewhat obsessive and immature, but you already knew that.

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