Friday, August 20, 2010

How does one deal with an ex-wife who makes ludicrous accusations to keep you from seeing your child?

I have attempted to visit my 11 year old child several times this past year with no luck. She is in contempt of court and I have a lawyer and am taking her to court but not before she serves me with papers making accusations that I am basically a perverted drunk and I make my daughter uncomfortable (thats the clean version). I pay child support and I have a great relationship with my daughter when we are together, and I am in the medical profession. There are so many dead beat fathers out there that get to see their children all the time, why must I go through this BS when I do everything I can to be a good dad. How can I deal with such an evil person???How does one deal with an ex-wife who makes ludicrous accusations to keep you from seeing your child?
Start recording all your phone conversations and keep a diary of the dates and times you've tried to see your child. Look up 'Parent Alienation Sydrome' on the internet too. It's actually very common. She is no doubt brain washing your child too. Hopefully the courts will interview your child while your wife is NOT in the room. They will have court appointed child psychologists for that, who can determine if your ex is saying derogatory things about you to your child. Don't worry...they will either take the child from her and give her to you, or they will FORCE the Mom to allow you your visitation. They may even make Mom take supervised visitations.How does one deal with an ex-wife who makes ludicrous accusations to keep you from seeing your child?
She will tip her hand one day and all the lies she is telling will be known. Let the courts handle it for now, in the long run you will come out ahead. I know a few guys personally that have gone through the same thing and even though it was hard not to see their kids it has paid off today. One even got full custody of his daughter because the court ruled the mother was unfit in her behavior towards the father.
An eleven year old is old enough to speak for herself, and let's hope that she is not making ';ludicrous'; accusations like her mom. And it doesn't matter what profession you are in, that does not exempt you or anyone else from pedophilia or child molestation.





Anywhoooooo, how you deal with it is with a lawyer and a judge, I think you are doing the right thing in that area, but your comparisons to other people (deadbeat dads for egs) make me go ';ugh';.





You don't have to deal with the wife (the evil person) you have to deal with yourself and your daughter so that you can achieve whatever outcome your heart truly desires.
I feel really bad for you and your daughter. What he said before me is basically what you need to do. Its going to cost you a lot of money but you need to document EVERYTHING and take her to court. Im suprised she hasn't been arrested for being in contempt of court. One day your daughter will see right through her.. just be normal for your daughter and she will remember that.
I can only tell you that I'm so sorry. Your ex doesn't seem to understand some very basic fundamentals about having children - especially daughters. Daughters need their dads so much!





I am divorced with three daughters. My ex is a lawyer and didn't even want children, let alone do one single thing to raise them (they are all teenagers now). I would give absolutely anything for them to have a relationship with their father. He cannot be made to understand that he has devastated their lives by not being there for them - ever.





I'm telling you, I do not understand these vindictive women who try to keep the kids away from their ex - who absolutely needs to be a part of their lives. Very controlling!!!
You take the high road and let the courts and your lawyer do their jobs. Under no circumstances should you deal with her in person at this time, Make sure that you ask your lawyer if it would be possible to get a court appointed physiologist to interview your daughter and/or observe you and your daughter together,


Since these accusations are false, I would certainly pursue suing your ex for defamation of character and anything else you and your lawyer can think of, she is using a child to get back at you, so you have to be both ruthless and smart, make sure you do everything by the book and know this: every dirty tactic she is using against you now, will come back to her threefold, because your daughter knows the truth, and soon enough, she will be at an age where her mother will no longer be able to stand between you. Make sure, when you see your daughter, not to make the visits about your ex, Do not even discuss her mother, nor speak badly of her (difficult, I know), just focus on making the best of the time you have, bonding and forming the best relationship you can with your child. It will get better, hang in there, Good luck.
My ex was the same way. Or worse, she almost had my daughter convienced she was haveing repressed memory's about being molested by me. My daughter is 25 now and dosn't hesitate to tell anybody her mother is a pethitec piece of **** for all the trouble she caused us all.
Call her or email her and ask her what does she want from you in order to see your daughter. If you pay child support, and it is court ordered just ask her plain in simple if it's not a problem with the money, and if a judge granted it what exactly does she want. Talk in a low tone, and no matter how upset she gets I would not let that change my tone of voice. If she says all the stuff that you were only able to give us the clean version of then tell her you have a lawyer, and you are willing to go to court on the accusations she is alleging. Tell her if I have to face a judge because of your accusations in order to see my daughter then that's what I will do. Then say to her once that is all over, and those accusations prove to be false then what else will you have to do in order to see your daughter. If she says nothing then I would leave it alone because as long as you two go back in forth she is going to always make you out to be the bad person in front of your daughter. I would write your daughter a letter, and take it to her school, and have the front office give it to her ';not you'; but make sure you tell them who you are, and let her know on a child's level the discussion you had with her mother, and let her know that ';you'; are not the reason you can't see her. Once she takes that note home to her mother then her mother will have some questions to answer. Good luck.
the same way you would deal with an ex-husband doing the same thing .. you just deal with it.. stand your ground for the childs sake and dont do anything stupid to make it look like you're vengeful and hateful to the ex because in time the way they are acting to make you look bad will only backfire and make everyone see their true selves..


sounds like you are doing the right thing with your lawyer and such.. just don't give up for your daughters sake.. things will work out in time..
Ask the court to assign a GAL to report on your relationship with your child and the child's relationship with her mother. In this way you will have a neutral third party to present the findings to the court. The system is broken allowing such things to be taken as the truth because no judge wants to be on the 11:00 news stating that he/she didn't assign a restraining order if something did happen. There is no due process when it comes down to restraining orders.

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