How do u deal with ex-inlaws and an ex-husband?

when they just dont get it? imagine my ex-husband parents still think i am their daughter-in-law, and my ex-husband still wants to tell me what to do? sometimes i feel i still belong with them, because the consideration is still there, even though they know i have a boyfriend. they just keep thinking there might still be a chance for me and their son. even though i still have feelings for my ex, he has done too much injustice to me and i dont think i could forgive him, but sometimes i wonder what i shd do, because we share a baby girl 18 months who i'm sure loves us both. my ex husband i did not mean to divorce him but i was really frustrated and thought i could never see myself with him again, now i still feel as tho i still love him, even though he has done the world of wrong thinngs, why dont i get it that we are not legally married anymore? besides, he was an abusive and adulterous person.How do u deal with ex-inlaws and an ex-husband?
you will always be connected to your ex and his family because of your daughter, but they all need to respect the fact that you are no longer his wife or their daughter-in-law. You also need to move on in that aspect of your life so it doesn't hinder any future relationships.How do u deal with ex-inlaws and an ex-husband?
Your feelings are normal. Love doesn't go away because someone hurt you. You did the right thing by divorcing him. You need to tell your in-laws how you really feel. The only way you can move on is if you spend less time with your ex- in laws and ex-husband. It is not fair to your boyfriend.
You need to move on and forget about him, especially since you said he was abusive and adulterous.
your feelings haven't caught with your divorce action yet but they will.


would the inlaws want you back if you were the one who was abusive and adulterous? no. they are only thinking of their loser son's future, not your best interest.
put your foot down and tell them you are not their d-in-law anymore.
my question to you is why don't you get a back bone and put your foot down. either you love this man enough to forgive him and work with him or you can keep walking. either way be strong tell him like it is and don't waiver in your decision. as far as the in laws go, YOU don't have to deal with them at all. its up to him to make sure that his child knows his family. and in the long run your indecisiveness isn't good for you, your child or your new boy friend
Nyra, you have said some things that indicates that you wonder if you made a mistake in divorcing your ex. Then you say he was abusive and ';done a world of wrong things';, including cheating on you. You say you have a boyfriend. Is he good to you? Is he good with your daughter? You can have a cooperative parenting relationship with your ex. You can work together to raise your daughter. But at one point you decided he was the wrong man for you. Trust that decision, and be strong within yourself. You do have that strength. You wouldn't tolerate abuse and infidelity. Now you can be your own woman and be a strong loving role model for your daughter. ABout the ex in laws? Not having to deal with them directly is one of the best perks of divorce! If they want to discuss their granddaughter, they can bring it up with their son, they have no hold on you now. Good luck and stay strong!
I went through the same thing after my divorce, minus the ex-in laws. To this day I feel for this man, but I made the decision to divorce him and it was wise. Do you really think he will change? If he has shown that, maybe you should give it a try, but beware..spolied milk doesnt become good again just because you put it back in the fridge...when you go back to it, it will still be spoiled milk.


After a few years I finally decided that I would have been going through the same things over and over (if I had tried to reconcile)and I had to let it go. You loved him, you share a daughter with him, you will always be a little bonded by that, but dont go overboard, your feelings were validated by going through with the divorce, your anger has just subsided, which is a good thing, too. No reason to live a life full of bitterness and anger.
until you got to the abusive and adulterous part I was going to suggest that you and he make a real effort at reconciliation with the help of a marriage counsleor.





But now instead I'm going to suggest that you have a few private sessions with a counselor so you can help reinforce the idea that you did the best thing for everyone by leaving an abusive cheating spouse. Remain polite to your child's grandparents, it's nice that they are still fond of you. Just tell them that too much has happened for you to go backwards and you hope that they will always think of you fondly.





and of course your ex is going to try and control you. He's abusive. That's what abusive (former) spouses do. They don't give up trying to control you just because you divorced them. They won't give up trying to control you when they marry someone else and are controlling and cheating on them. Controlling and head tripping others is the little game they like to play. You just don't participate.
If he was abusive and he is still pulling you into his traps then you haven't truly broken free yet. His family probably plays a role in that codependence as well. I strongly recommend breaking yourself of all contact with him other than discussing drop off and pick up times for your daughter. At least do that until you are strong enough to resist his (and his family's) control over your life. Maybe consider putting off dating until you are fully recovered as well. It is nothing to be ashamed of, but you do need to give yourself time to stand on your own two feet.





You can do it. You ARE strong enough. And don't listen to anyone who tells you that you aren't strong. It takes a very strong woman to leave an abusive man. The yo-yo effect keeps ahold of you pretty tightly. Good luck.
It takes a strong person to forgive. And you are not strong, which is fine...


Tell him to counsuling, jeez this is why marragies are at 50 percent survival rate. You proably made your situation with getting a boyfriend worse good job.